


The Forgotten

by Irishgirl20



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, michael isn't very nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:57:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5034598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irishgirl20/pseuds/Irishgirl20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perhaps the hardest thing about having no father was having to explain to people where he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Introduction

Ashton was used to having no dad, he was use to having to rely on his mother for nearly everything growing up, from emotional to financial support. He made do with having no male influence in his house by going to his grandad or uncle whenever he needed 'manly' advice and he made sure that if Harry ever needed similar advice that he would be there for him. However what he wasn't use to was having to explain where his dad was. Growing up he would tell friends that his dad was on a business trip or working in another country, he didn't want his friends to know he wasn't good enough for his dad to stick around. However those excuses only lasted so long, eventually his friends twigged what was going on and left because he was seen as the weird liar. This became an ongoing feature of Ashton's life growing up and so he plunged himself into music, learning the drums, singing and writing music, all as a way of coping with the loneliness that engulfed his life. It was this loneliness that Ashton was battling one hot night in December. An old friend of Ashton's had decided to bring up a lie that Ashton had created about his father, right in the middle of Biology class, he was the laughing stock of the entire school for the whole day. As Ashton lay in his bed, that day replayed over and over in his head, he couldn't get the look of pity and amusement out of his head, the look that was etched onto his classmates faces. He tossed and turned the whole night, silent tears running down his face, making him feel worse about himself. He cursed his dad for leaving him,he cursed himself for being such a baby about it and not dealing with it like a man. Ashton could no longer deal with the thought racing though his head and bolted out of his bedroom, into the bathroom. Once he made sure the door was locked and everyone was asleep he pried the silver metal piece out of his secret hiding spot. Careful not to cut too deep, Ashton made five incisions across his left wrist. It stung so badly, but that was the point, the physical pain blocked out the emotional pain whirling around his head. He quickly grabbed the toilet paper and placed it harshly down on his bleeding wrist, a hiss escaping his lips. Ashton quietly made his way back into his bedroom. He stared up at the ceiling wondering how he let his life get this bad, the self harm was a momentary release but as soon as the pain subsided, the emotional pain came hurtling back, even worse with the humiliation of having self harmed. Ashton grabbed his laptop, hoping to watch some cute videos on youtube to get his mind of everything. But before he went onto Youtube he decided to check his facebook page, he didn't even know why he had a facebook page, his only friends was his mother, his cousin and his auntie June. However he noticed he had a message after opening the page, he hesitated in opening it though, someone in school found out that he had a facebook page and now a group of guys were sending abusive messages, however something in his brain was telling him to open it. As soon as he did he realized it was from a guy named Michael Clifford, he remembered meeting him at a concert a while back, though he was confused as to why he was messaging him at 3 in the morning. As he scrolled down the message he realized that Michael wanted him to play drums for his band at a gig, 5 seconds of summer was their name if Ashton remembered correctly. Ashton wasn't sure what to do, yes he loved playing drums, but the thought of meeting new people terrified him, the ones he knew hated his guts, he didn't want to add to the list of those who didn't like him, but the thought of playing live to an audience sparked something in Ashton that he hadn't felt in a while, so with that in mind Ashton quickly messaged Michael back before he could change his mind. Michael responded back almost immediately thanking him and giving his address, asking him to be there tomorrow to practice. Ashton went to bed that night with the thoughts in his head that little bit quieter.


	2. Chapter 2

Good things don't last forever though and Ashton has plenty of experience with that. When he woke, he immediately regretted agreeing to this, new people and Ashton do not mix well, Ashton mind was racing with all the possibilities that could happen today, most of them bad, he was so wrapped up in his own head that he didn't notice his breath was quickening at an alarming rate, he was having a panic attack, he had to calm down or he would pass out, Ashton focused on how blue the sky was, keeping all the thoughts from his head away from today, slowly his breathing rate returned to normal, Ashton had grown use to working himself out of panic attacks, having fallen victim to them a lot over the years. After calming down Ashton realised the time, he had to be in Michael's in an hour, he quickly got dressed, putting on his favourite purple shirt, jeans and black converse, he grabbed a variety of bracelets to hide the physical representation of his state of mind, he grabbed his cajon and ran out the door, shouting goodbye to his mother. As he made his way to the train station he kept coming up with reasons to turn back,but something was pulling him towards Michael's house, and he didn't quite understand it yet.  
After leaving the train station, Ashton soon found his way to Michael's house, he stood outside admiring the house, realizing that Michael was a lot more well off than him. As he walked up to the door, panic started rising from the base of his throat, he couldn't bring himself to ring the door bell but the thought of the band finding him here spurned him on enough to ring the door bell. After what seemed like an eternity, Michael came to the door.  
'Hey Ashton, thanks so much for coming, you're really helping us out' Michael yelled excitably, whilst Ashton merely gave a polite smile back, overwhelmed by Michael's exuberant personality  
'Well don't just stand there, come on in, I want to introduce you the other guys, Michael said as he literally pulled Ashton into the house. Michael's house was lovely, yes you could tell the occupants had a lot of money but it was clear that their was a lot of love here too. Ashton and Michael made their way to the living room, Ashton desperately wanted to say something but the fear of saying something stupid shut him up. Once they got into the living room, Ashton spied two boys playing a passionate game of Fifa, they were so engrossed in the match they didn't notice Michael and Ashton entering the living room.  
'Hey idiots' Michael yelled 'Ashton's here'  
As soon as Michael said that they two guys quickly turned around to face Ashton, One of the guys had a weird expression after looking at Ashton's t-shirt for some reason.  
'So Ashton, the blonde one is Luke' Michael explained whist simultaneously firing the tv remote at him   
'He's the lead singer and he also plays rhythm guitar, Calum's the Kiwi, he plays Bass player and sings and I'm the lead guitarist and I sing as well' Michael said that last part with a hint of pride in his voice, Ashton smiled at that you could tell he loved music.  
'So, do you wanna play a game of Fifa, you can play the winner of this match' Luke was clearly shy but wanted to include Ashton.  
'No you're fine I don't like Fifa' The moment Ashton said those words he regretted it, the guys gave him the same look that everyone in school did, again he was branded a weirdo. 

Ashton waited patiently for half an hour before they played music, and those 30 minutes were some of the tensest Ashton had ever experienced,it took all the self control he had to keep a panic attack at bay. Eventually the guys decided that they had enough of Fifa and that they sould actually do some music now.  
'So Ashton' Calum said with a grin 'wanna show us what you got'  
Ashton nervously got his cajon and drummed the beat to couple of songs he knew. The moment he began the beat, the anxiety that had been building up, evaporated, this was what he was meant to do. After three songs, Ashton stopped, hoping to gauge the reaction of the three guys.  
'That was incredible Ashton' Luke looked like an excited puppy as he spoke to Ashton, he could tell Ashton would work well in this band, the other looked equally impressed.  
'Okay' said Michael clapping his hands together, ' you showed us what you can do now we'll show you what we can do'.  
Michael and Luke grabbed their guitars whilst Calum found his bass. They played a number of covers, including 'I miss you' by Blink 182. Ashton thought they were great and they had good taste in music, they finished with an original called 'gotta get out' which Ashton thought was amazing. As they finished Ashton gave them a huge round of applause, which caused them all to look a bit sheepish. They guys played music together for about two hours as they tried to fit Ashton into the songs. For the first time Ashton felt truly happy.   
'So Ashton we were wondering, would it be ok if we all come to your house tomorrow?, its just we would love to practice with an actual drum kit and we know that you wouldn't being able to bring it on the train' Michael asked whilst tidying away the instruments. Panic immediately began going off in Ashton's head, what will they think when they notice I have no father, he thought as his anxiety levels began to rise.   
'Hey Ashton is that okay? Calum asked worriedly. Ashton realized that he had been staring off into the distance since Michael had asked, he hurriedly agreed to them coming down, if only to stop them from staring at him. He scribbled his address on a slip of paper, before quickly making his way out with a quick goodbye.  
Good things don't last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so this is the second chapter, comment if you want to give me some tips as I would love to get better.


	3. Chapter 3

Ashton was hurriedly moving around the house trying to clean up as much as he could, his mother was working a lot lately so the house wasn't as clean as it should be, Ashton tried to do what he could after school, he was by no means a domestic goddess. The guys would be coming over in an hour and he didn't want them to see the house this way, it was already bad enough they would know he was poor and fatherless. Ashton tried to shake those thoughts from his head but they stayed with him, ruining any self confidence or joy he may have had. He looked down at his scared wrist wondering what the guys would think if they saw that, he would rather tell them about his father them let them see that, quickly he rearranged his bracelets so the scars were invisible. He then moved on to the kitchen, he wanted to get some snacks for the guys but his mother hadn't done the shopping yet so options were very limited. But he managed to find a few packets of crisps and some fizzy drinks. Luckily Ashton's mother was working and his sister and brother were at after school activities so the guys may not noticed that this house lacked a father. Ashton lay down on the couch, his mind racing a million miles, he was coming up with a million different scenarios about how the guys may laugh at, he was working himself up into a right state and may have hurt himself to get rid of those thought, had it not been for the knock on his door. He quickly got up and straighten himself before checking the mirror to make sure he didn't look like some mental patient. 

'Hey guys you found the house ok' Ashton said as he opened the door and invited the guys in  
'Ye it was easy enough' Luke smiled as he struggled with a heavy guitar case  
'Oh, you can put your cases into the garage if you want, that's where my drums are' Ashton replied nervously. Before they made their way to the garage Ashton grabbed the snacks in the kitchen. Ok Ashton he thought, just go out there and have fun, these guys could be different. He grabbed the bowl and the glasses and made his way to join his friends.

He quickly made his way the garage but before he entered he heard his name come up in conversation  
'Wow I didn't realise Ashton was so poor' Michael said with a hint of laughter.  
'Hey don't be mean, not everyone is as lucky as us' Luke whined, hoping Michael wouldn't target Ashton the way he did with him in the past, Ashton seemed like a nice guy, a bit stand offish though  
'I know, its just a bit weird, I've never seen a house like this before, I mean I'm surprised he could even afford that drum kit.  
'Guys come on, Ashton will be back any second and we can't let him here you talking about him like that' Calum said hoping to avoid a fight between Luke and Michael. Ashton couldn't say he was surprised, he knew this was going to happen, it always did, ye he was surprised at the tears that rolled down his face, you would think he was use to it by now. He didn't want them to know he overheard, it would make things really awkward so instead he wiped the tears from his face and entered the garage pretending like nothing happened.  
'Oh cool snacks' Michael yelled grabbing a packet of crisps  
Ashton got behind the drum kit, asking what the guys wanted to do.  
'Well you know the song 'Gotta get out' Calum said shyly, 'we were hoping that you would be able to add a drum beat to it?'  
'Ye I'll see what I can do' Ashton replied with a soft smile  
It took a while but eventually they added a beat to the song and even practiced a new cover 'Teenage dirtbag', Ashton didn't say much, apart from anything drum related, he couldn't, he was afraid of bursting into tears of hitting Michael, two very conflicting emotions were attacking Ashton right now making him a bit unstable. As soon as they finished Ashton grabbed the empty bowl and glasses to bring them back into the kitchen.

'Guys is Ashton okay? He seemed angry and sad at the same time?' Luke asked as he packed away his guitar.  
'I don't know he seems like a weird guy, I'm kinda regretting asking him to join the band' Michael replied nonchalantly  
'Hey!! Ashton's a great drummer and maybe he's just shy, you don't think he overheard Micky do you' Calum said as he glared across at Michael.  
'Nah, sure if he did, he would have said something' Michael smiled with no hint of remorse.  
Ashton quickly made his way back to the garage to say goodbye the lads, he was going to invite them to hang around, but right now all he wanted was to be alone.  
'Right so we'll see you on Thursday at the Annadale Hotel then?' Luke enquired  
'Ye I'll be there, 8 o'clock right? Ashton asked  
'Ye that's the time, see you then Ashton' Calum smiled.

Ashton quickly entered the bathroom after the guys left, prying the silver blade from its hiding space, removing the bracelets he made many incisions on his wrist, more than he usually does and more deep, he began to feel faint from all the blood loss, quickly he placed toilet tissue on the cuts hoping to stem the blood loss. As he sat there waiting for the blood to stop flowing he felt so stupid for thinking that people like Michael Luke and Calum could like him, that they would look past what he lacked and actually get to know him, when would he learn he thought as he banged his head against the tilled wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hope this chapter is ok, I had the idea for this chapter but wasn't sure how to flesh it out, so sorry if its bad. Should i do longer chapters?


	4. Chapter 4

Ashton hurried around his bedroom trying to get ready for the gig at the Annadale Hotel, he really didn't want to go, especially after hearing what Michael had to say about his home situation, but he didn't want to let Luke and Calum down, they seemed nice enough and he knew that without a drummer they wouldn't be able to perform. So with that in mind he started to get ready, he threw on a nirvana band t-shirt, blue jeans and a pair of converse, not forgetting his growing collection of bracelets. Once he decided he was passable, he ran downstairs, hoping to get a lift to the hotel with his mother. As he reached the living room he noticed that his mother was sprawled out on the sofa, passed out drunk. A sigh escaped Ashton's lips, he couldn't blame his mother, she had a hard life, raising three children on her own, on a minimum wage salary. She only occasionally drank so much that she passed out so Ashton always let it pass, thinking that she was allowed to have a slip up every now and again, but lately he had been finding her passed out drunk a lot more. Ashton was seriously worried about it now, when this happened she usually couldn't go to work the next day, Ashton would have to call in sick for her. This was happening a lot more lately and he was worried about his mum losing her job, what would happen to them then? Ashton picked up the empty vodka bottles, putting them in the bin, he straightened up his mother and threw a blanket over her, that way if Lauren or Harry came downstairs it would look like she was just sleeping. With that taken care of he made his way to the bus stop, thankfully the hotel had a drum kit, so Ashton didn't have to haul his drum kit all the way to the venue. He just about made it to the bus stop before the bus was due to take off, as he took his seat, he thought about his mother and her increasing drinking habit, he knew he should tell someone, especially his grandparents, but he couldn't, Ashton already had one extremely neglectful parent, he didn't want to admit to anybody that his mother may be heading down the same path, what those that say about him, that he isn't enough for either parent.

Ashton quickly entered the hotel cursing the bus for taking forever he should have been at the hotel 15 minutes ago, the guys were texting him asking where he was but he had no credit to text them back. He found the guys soon after he entered the hotel, their worried faces turning to relief when they seen him. Ashton ran up to them, apologizing profusely for being late, explaining that the bus should have arrived 15 minutes ago.  
'Typical poor people' Michael muttered under his breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear, including Ashton.  
Ashton looked down at his feet, picking at his nails, unsure of what to do, tears threatening to escape his eyes. He turned left, going into the bathroom, as he left he heard Luke and Calum chastising Michael, but Ashton thought they shouldn't bother, Michael was right it was his fault, his family situation had nearly ruined their first gig and now here he was in the bathroom crying when they had to be on stage in a few minutes. He tore of his bracelets desperately trying to get some relief but he had nothing sharp, he ran his nails along some new scars, hoping to break the skin, but it didn't help, that knot in his chest that threatened to stop his breathing remained lodged there. Thoughts consumed his head, they took over, he couldn't think straight, his mind taunted him over all his inadequacies, his shit home life, his lack of friends, he couldn't control the voices in his head. He furiously banged his foot of the bathroom stall, hoping to cause himself enough pain to quell the voices in his head, and to breathe properly again. Ashton was so overwhelmed by the voices in his head and trying to stop crying and breathe again that he never heard the bathroom door open as Luke and Calum walked in, hoping to find Ashton to apologize for Michael's horrible, elitist behaviour. However they didn't expect to hear such sounds coming from one of the stalls, it sounded like a dying animal.  
'Is that Ashton' Luke asked the older boy worriedly  
'I think so' Calum replied shocked. He knew what Michael said was wrong but he wasn't expecting this reaction from Ashton, there must be something else going on, Calum was no idiot, he knew how to read people, one of the advantages of not being a big talker and Ashton looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown every time he seen him  
'Should we knock on the stall door' Luke asked, he didn't know what to do, he was never in a situation like this.  
'I think so, he needs someone's help and we're the only ones here' Calum said hoping his voice didn't give away how scared he was at this moment, he knew Ashton needed someone and if they screwed up then it could spell bad things for Ashton. Slowly Calum knocked on the stall door  
'Ash, its ok, Mickey isn't here, it's just me and Luke, do you mind opening the door, we're worried and we just want to help you'  
They waited for what seemed like an eternity but eventually the door slowly swung open, revealing a very distressed looking Ashton, shocking both Luke and Calum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for reading, if you have any suggestions or tips, I'd love to hear them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey please comment if you have any suggestions for the story or criticisms, but please do comment, I want to see what people are thinking about my story.

Ashton couldn't understand why he opened the bathroom stall door. Ordinarily he would never let anyone see in him such a state but something about Luke and Calum made him think that he was safe, so using his foot he kicked the door open, revealing Luke and Calum's worried and shocked faces. Ashton cringed when he saw their expressions and began to question his decision.  
'Ashton!! What's wrong' Calum exclaimed, moving towards to Ashton with his arms outstretched.  
Ashton, saying nothing stood up and was immediately engulfed in a hug by both Luke and Calum.  
'Come on lets get out of the bathroom stall, its cramped and a bit weird for three guys to be in here together' Luke laughed nervously hoping to diffuse some of the tension permeating the bathroom.  
As they stepped out of the stall, Luke and Calum noticed the small trickle of blood on Ashton's arms, drawing attention to the multitude of scars, old and new, adorning Ashton's wrists.  
'Ash, why?' Calum said softly, so as not to alarm the boy  
Ashton breath got caught in his lungs, he had forgotten to cover up his arms, his wild panic in the stall had led to a few cuts reopening, he didn't know what to say, no one had ever known about his habit and therefore had never asked about it.  
'I don't want to talk about it' Ashton finally answered.  
Calum looked like he was about to press more, but Luke shook his head softly, realizing that now was not the moment to push Ashton too hard.  
'I'll go and get the first aid kit, we can clean up some of those cuts, is that ok Ashton?' Luke asked  
Ashton just nodded his head, not trusting his voice at the moment and with that Luke was out the door, hoping to find something that could alleviate some of Ashton's pain. Luke's head was spinning, he had never seen someone in so much emotional pain, he was only fifteen, he wasn't equipped for something like this but Luke knew that Ashton didn't have anyone else and so at fifteen he was going to have to man up and help his new found friend, even if that meant yelling at a current friend. And with that thought Luke came face to face with Michael who looked very pissed off.  
'Where were you guys, I've been looking all over for you, the hotel manager said that if we're not up there in the next five minutes, our slot is cancelled' Michael shouted at Luke, wondering what that emo kid Ashton was playing at  
'Well your going to have to tell the manager to cancel the gig, Ashton's in a really bad state so he won't be able to play' Luke growled at Michael  
'What!! we can't cancel, just forget about Ashton, I mean having a drummer would be cool and all, but we can do the gig without one and to be honest he's become a bit of liability' Michael responded to Luke, not seeming to worry about Ashton at all.  
'You can't be serious, Ashton is having what looks like a mental breakdown and you want us to leave him!!! You know what Michael you always seemed like a bit of a jerk to me, but I ignored it because overall you seemed like a nice guy, but God can I see you clearly now, you have no empathy for anyone, you are narcissistic to the core, and you know what Ashton's not the liability of the group, you are!!! Luke screamed at Michael, not caring how many people stared at him, and with that he left in search of a first aid kit, leaving Michael shocked that Luke, the shy quiet kid he use to pick on, cut him down so deftly.  
Luke eventually tracked down a hotel employee who gave him a first aid kit, but not before Luke convinced her that no-one was dying and that his friend only had a minor cut and was fine, oh how Luke wished that was true.  
Luke re-entered the bathroom, hoping to find Ashton in a better state than when he left him, however that was not going to be the case today. As soon as he entered the bathroom, he noticed that Ashton was sitting on the floor, knees up to his chest, not saying a word, Calum stood beside him, a helpless expression etched on his face.  
'Luke, your back' Calum exclaimed, frightening Ashton a bit, who didn't see Luke walk in.  
'Ye and I managed to find a first aid kit, so how about we get your wrists cleaned up ok Ash?'  
Ashton never moved or said anything, but Luke took his lack of response as a yes and moved towards him. He opened the first aid kit, noticing it had some alcohol wipes, dressing and plasters, not a great first aid kit, but it would have to do.  
'Ash this is going to sting, but we have to use these alcohol wipes, to make sure these cuts don't get infected'  
Ashton gave a curt nod, not caring about the pain, he was use to it this stage. Luke quickly opened the packet, wanting to get this stage over quick as he knew it would hurt Ashton. Luke ran the wipes up and down Ashton's wrists, covering ever scar. As he did, small tears escaped Ashton's eyes, not because it was sore, but because of the shame he felt of having a boy he barely knew, clean his cuts, one of his deepest shames in a grimy bathroom stall. Ashton knew this was his lowest point and that stung more than alcohol wipes on open wounds could ever.  
'Ok Ash, the hardest part is done, I'm just going to wrap some dressing on them now' Luke said with a weak smile, noticing the boys tears.  
Luke slowly wrapped the dressing around Ashton's wrists, making sure to get the worst scars. Luke honestly wasn't sure how he got through that, Ashton's wrists was so badly scarred but somehow Luke looked past it, knowing his friend needed him.  
As he finished wrapping Ashton's wrists,he placed a safety pin on both, to keep them secure. Once he was done, he extended his hand to Ashton hoping to get him off the grimy bathroom floor, thankfully Ashton accepted and soon the three boys stood looking awkward at each other.  
'Listen Ashton, I hope you know that both me and Luke were disgusted at what Michael said' Calum explained hoping to make Ashton realize that they were on his side.  
'Is that all that's on your mind though' Calum asked, knowing that such a reaction was not due to a flippant comment made by Michael  
'It's just family stuff, don't worry about it' Ashton explained, his voice barely audible.  
'Hey of course we going to worry, we made not have known you very well, but your our friend and we care about you' Luke said hoping to get Ashton to open up.  
'It's just things arn't great at home and well this' Ashton said pointing at his wrists 'is a way of relief, I know it's stupid but it's the only thing that helps' Ashton face burned a deep shade of red and his talked about his use of self harm.  
'What's going on a home, that's so bad? Calum asked, he was a naive boy at heart and didn't realise that a lot of families are not as secure or happy as his.  
'It's just stuff, stuff that I really don't want to talk about, thanks for helping me and all and I'm really sorry about the gig, I tend to screw things up for those around me' Ashton said sadly with his eyes pointed towards his feet. Before the guys could say anything in return, Ashton gave his goodbyes and was quickly out of the bathroom.  
Calum and Luke exchanged a look, no words were necessary, they had to get to the bottom of what was going on with Ashton, but first they had to deal with Michael.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey really sorry for the lack of updates, I'm in my final year at university so essay's are really kicking my arse, but hopefully I will be able to update more frequently, please comment to tell me how you feel about this story and all feedback is welcomed.

Luke and Calum stared at each other for a solid 5 minutes, unsure of what to do, each noticing the flecks of blood staining the white tiles, blood from Ashton, their friend. One thing they knew they had to do was confront Michael, he needed to know what he did was wrong and what affect he was having on Ashton. They quickly left the bathroom in search of their bandmate.

'Hey!!! what the fuck is going on, I just say that idiot Ashton leave with tears running down his face, what happened did he realise how poor he was!!' Michael said grinning at himself.

Without thinking Calum threw a punch at Michael, aiming straight at his nose, causing a rush of blood. Calum didn't know what took over him, Michael was one of his oldest friend, his best friend, but after seeing Ashton in such a state caused him to lash out at the person who in part contributed to it

'What the hell Calum' Michael screamed, holding his jacket up to his nose, hoping to stem the blood flow.

'Well maybe now you feel a little bit of the pain you just put Ashton through!!' Luke exclaimed, shocked at what Calum had done, but felt like Michael had deserved it.

Michael couldnt understand what was going on, he didn't why his friends were being bastards all of a sudden, he felt it had something to do with Ashton but he couldn't understand what, he was just having a laugh with him, sure it was a bit mean spirited but that was his style, he never really meant anything by it but surely they knew that by now. Luke mentioned Ashton having a breakdown, whatever the hell that meant but what had that got to do with him. Michael stared at his feet, keeping the jacket up to his nose, unsure as to what to do now. Tears threatened to escape his eyes, he turned his head away not wanting to see his friends (or ex friends now maybe) see him cry. The sight of Michael with tears in his eyes caused Luke and Calum to soften a bit towards Michael. Calum took Michael by the shoulder leading him towards the couches, with Luke following.

'I'm sorry, I hit you, Michael, its just we had a stressful evening with Ashton and to be honest we think your partly to blame' Calum explained softly not wanting to add anymore anger to the atmosphere

'What did I do?' Michael asked, genuinely confused.

Calum and Luke looked at each other before trying to explain to Michael what had happened, even though they themselves had no clue. Throughout the story Michael's eyes became more and more anxious, after realizing what his friends had just gone through

'Why am I such a jerk!!!' Michael shouted, all I cared about was this stupid gig, I honestly didn't mean anything when I said those things about Ashton, I was just having a laugh and now look what I did to him' Michael looked absolutely ashamed at himself.

'Hey don't feel to bad, Michael, to be honest things at home don't seem so great for Ashton, so while the things you said definitely weren't cool, I don't think your the sole reason behind what happened last night'. Luke explained hoping to cheer Michael up a bit

'But you did say some hurtful things to Ashton, things you need to apologize for' Calum said, not wanting to let Michael off the hook just yet. 'We're going over to Ashton's tomorrow to check up on him and your coming with us.' 

'Ok' Michael said, the reality of the situation finally sinking in.

'We better get going, our parents will wonder where we are'. Luke said, not wanting to piss of his mum or she might not want to bring him to another gig again, that is if they ever have another gig again, the whole band thing seemed to go on the back burner for a moment.

As the three boys got into to their parents luxury cars, to be driven home to their opulent homes in the best neighborhood, Ashton lay in his tiny bedroom, in a bad part of town, his self harm scars opened for the world to see, his mother's steps could be heard as he climbed the stairs after another night out drinking, Ashton rolled over on his side, tears streaming face, the pain from his wrists was too much, the pain from his mother alcoholism was too much, the pain from Michael's words was too much and the pain in his stomach from the empty cupboards, a sign of his mother's neglect was too much. Everything was too much for Ashton, he was done.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is my first fanfiction, Its really bad so I apologize.


End file.
